Hard decisions –

It started as a conversation. A suggestion really. Living over an hour away from mom was becoming problematic. Although my four children had left home, I was still working, enjoying three grand-children and had become very involved in a community theatre group.

 “Move to my city.” I said. We can do stuff together and I can be more help with the little things. Changing light-bulbs, taking tops off of jars, decluttering, cleaning out the fridge, vacuuming. I can come over a couple times a week rather than once a month. She wouldn't be leaving behind a lot of friends. She had become quite a loner and her grand-children and great-grand-children live a few minutes away from me. Mom and I both love to cook so I pictured us trying new recipes and clothes shopping.

Mom’s resistance was surprising to me. She had lots of excuses. She would be unable to continue her volunteer work and she loved her doctor and dentist. She knew her way around and was familiar with all the stores. She would be a burden to me she said. Deep down, after 22 years in the same place, she was nervous about starting over.

I promised her I would get her involved with the Heritage Society and my theatre group. I would find her a new doctor and I knew if she had a decent kitchen and the internet for recipes, she would be content. She had her word games and was an avid reader.

Commuting back and forth from my city to hers a few times a month was not going to be an option. Her eyesight was failing but she was still driving. Albeit, badly but that is another post.  While the conversation about moving was taking place over several weeks, she had another accident and her car was a write-off. Perfect I thought. No more driving!! But mom was furious with me when I suggested it. No matter what, she would be buying a new car. Down we went to a dealership and she picked out a shiny grey Mazda. Within a very short time, there were major scrapes and dings along both sides. It occurred to me to report her to I.C.B.C. or something but I didn’t want her to know it was me who turned her in. It would be almost another year before she stopped.  I’ll go into detail in a future post.

I talked with my brother who lives in Alberta. He came out for a visit and together we finally convinced mom to put her condo on the market. We found a lovely one here attached to the Senior’s Centre in my city and only 10 minutes away from my door!  I was excited about Mom living close and my brother went back home. We were both satisfied that we were doing the right thing……